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 4 parks, 1 day
This trip involved a flight into Chicago, a drive to Madison WI, an overnight stay with some friends from ACE and then another drive to Wisconsin Dells, WI. The drive from Chicago to Madison is only supposed to be 2 hours but the Illinois highway system turned it into a 6 hour nightmare. They have managed to build the dumbest toll system ever. With everyone in the state of Illinois looking to escape their toll infested purgatory for the holiday weekend we were averaging a measly 8 mph the entire drive up. You can actually tell when you cross the Stateline into WI because angels appear with magical horns a blazin’ and you’re surrounded by flowers. Because of this I now hate everything in Illinois. The citizens of the state allowed this to happen and they should slap themselves.
Now that we have that out of the way I can tell you about the actual parks.
Mount Olympus
The first surprise was free parking. The second surprise was excessive line jumping. Pretending that you don’t speak English doesn’t make line jumping OK. The park really needs to address this issue. The theming was excellent and held true to Greek Mythology throughout the park. The park staff wasn’t overly friendly or helpful but they did their jobs and blended into with everyone else. The food was surprisingly good and below the price that you will find at most parks. I had a cheese burger but regretted my decision once I say the gyro. The first half of the park is loaded with an impressive collection of wood coasters as well as shade. We didn’t even notice that it was freakin’ hot until we made it out into the open. More than half of the park is lacking trees and the Wisconsin sun can quickly zap your energy. All in all it’s an attractive park with a great collection of rides and attractions.
Now for the ride reviews
Hades: 8 out of 10
This is one of the most intense rides that I’ve ever experienced. It starts with a drop out of the station and then a series of high speed turns and drops. Next is the lift hill then a drop into the best tunnel ever. The tunnel covers the entire length of the parking lot and crazy things happen to the train while it’s in there. I don’t know exactly what happens but it’s awesome. The train the pops up out of the ground and does a quick turn around that includes some air and then it’s right back into the same tunnel heading back in the other direction. The return trip includes some new craziness that’s just as enjoyable as the first round. I found the reverse banking at the tunnels exit to be an interesting maneuver. The train still has enough momentum to climb a huge hill that bumps you out of your seat and then it’s back to the twisty craziness that the ride started with. The front is the best place to experience this ride and our waits were 30 minutes in the morning and 45 minutes just after lunch. It only runs one train so the line seems like it’s moving even slower.
Zeus: 7 out of 10
We only waited about 20 minutes for Zeus and since most of the ride is hidden it was a pleasant surprise to find that it included a ton of air time. We rode twice and I found the front to be much more enjoyable even though the back was plenty fun. Zeus had a good balance of rough and smooth making it a top rated wood coaster in my book.
Cyclops: 4 out of 10
This was only a 15 minute wait and it includes a couple of nice drops but that’s about it.
Pegasus: 3 out of 10
This should probably be considered a kiddie coaster or maybe they can drop you off somewhere else and call it a train ride. It doesn’t have any significant drops but does have a series of mouse like turns. The 10 minute wait definitely helps.
Opa: 3 out of 10
This falls under the category of spinning mouse coaster and I actually prefer the regular mouse coaster to this version. It’s didn’t spin much and the seats were a little uncomfortable. The ride is inside and it gives you a quick break from the sun. We waited 15 minutes.
(Non-coaster) Disco: 6 out of 10
This was the only non-coaster ride that we took and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I thought that the spinning would make me a little woozy and I was wrong. I’ve heard that the seats were uncomfortable and those people were wrong. It’s a great ride that had most everyone giggling and it only had a 5 minute wait.
Riverview Park and Water World
This is basically a traveling carnival that has found a permanent home. Each ride only costs a couple of bucks to ride and there’s a guy driving around on a golf cart selling beer. He may or may not have being using his employee discount beer. We may never know for sure.
Here’s a quick look at the rides
Galaxi: 3 out of 10
This would best be compared to a large mouse coaster. The lone train had two cars with two rows in each car. It had some nice drops a ton of head choppers and helix after helix. It was about a 10 minute wait.
Orient Express: 2 out of 10
This was our first attempt at a kiddie coaster and I now know why they don’t usually let adults on. It’s because they’re built for kids and don’t offer any real thrills. Either way it counts as a coaster credit.
Mouse Coaster: 2 out of 10
Can anyone guess what type of coaster this is? It actually gets it’s name from the fact that it’s train has a mouse face on the front and a tail protruding from the back. The ride is in no way an actual mouse coaster. It is however another coaster credit that I would normally be able to get.
Timber Falls
This park includes crazy thrill ride, a coaster, a log flume and a lot of mini-golf.
Avalanche: 7 out of 10
This wood coaster included another tiny train and an abundance of intensity. Usually after a first drop there’s another large hill or two. This ride dives right into a series of high speed turns that include a good amount of positive and lateral g-forces. The coaster does two laps around the mini-golf complex and the craziness doesn’t stop until you hit the brakes. It costs $6 to ride and didn’t have a line.
(Non-coaster) Skyscraper Thrill Ride: 10 out 10
This is one of the best rides ever. It’s big, it’s fast and it’s scary. Riders are strapped into harnesses and then loaded onto a boom that reaches a height of 160 feet. There are two riders at each end and the boom spins like a giant windmill. The seats that the riders are in flip freely. The ride travels forward and backwards.
Kalahari (Water Park)
This is a giant resort with an outdoor water park as well as a humongous indoor water park. We got there at about 7pm and Shane (our local ACE tour guide) really just wanted us to see it for ourselves. After a quick tour we decided to stay and $25 and a change of clothes later we were heading to the outdoor portion of the park. Outside was one large slide complex and since this part of the park closed at 8pm we made a b-line for the slides. There were ZERO people out there so we were able to take a spin on each of the 4 slides several times. The stairs were more of an issue that they amount of people. These were 4 of the most entertaining slides that I’ve ever had the pleasure of traversing.
Once the outdoor area closed we headed indoor for another 2 hours of play time. The indoor park includes a Master Blaster and family slide and another large slide complex. The Master Blaster has great and included some wicked air time. I actual hit the net on above the slide and thought for sure that an injury was on it’s way. I escaped with only a smile on my face. The family slide just kept going and going and even left the building for a brief moment. On the indoor slide complex the top two options were an enclosed body slide that allowed me to haul major booty as we as a toilet slide (not the actual name). The toilet slide was another enclosed body slide and I think that I reached a top speed of close to 100 mph (this isn’t true) before hitting the actual bowl portion of the ride. Once in the bowl I circled a few times and then dumped into the pool below.
The indoor lazy river was a nice break from all of the stairs but after one lap we got out and went back to sliding. A couple of members from the group tried surfing on the flow rider. Shane lasted about 5 seconds and Ron might have hot 2 seconds. The 8 year old girl in line before them got tired after about 2 minutes and fell on purpose.
Another Kalahari bonus is the dessert bar in the lobby. After a day of coaster riding and water sliding I was ready for dessert that included fudge, mint chocolate, haystacks, vanilla fudge and a couple of other things that were eaten before they could be identified.
Wisconsin Dells is a great trip for a group of thrill seekers as well as families looking to escape the horrid state of Illinois.
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